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‘To Kid or Not to Kid’ begins with Maxine showing us the scars on her stomach from an operation when she was younger, which may have had an impact on her ability to have children. I was deeply struck by the immediate personal exposure, which is maintained throughout the film. This is the 5 year story of Maxine trying to decide whether she wants to have children or not, and she is open and honest about it all.
This is such an important film for everyone to watch. For people who aren’t sure, it shows that they are not the only ones who feel like this. For people who may never have thought about it, it shows how such a personal, intimate decision is influenced by so many external factors.
There are themes raised which I have heard many clients raise – fear of making the wrong choice, fear of regretting either choice later on, feeling afraid to even raise the topic in case it hurts or upsets other people, feeling there is something wrong with/missing in you.
Maxine shows how difficult it is to hear and raise your own voice when there are so many others telling you that having children is the right thing to do – family, friends, religion, government policies, advertising and the media.
She also demonstrates how knowing your decision is one part of the process, but openly admitting it to others, is another equally difficult part. She shows us that it is not an easy choice, but it is a very important one that we each need to make for ourselves, in our own lives. She chose to share her process because “when people open up about their struggle, it allows others to come in” to the discussion.
This is so important; people need to know that they are not the only ones having these thoughts or asking these questions. They need to know there can be a very fulfilling and enjoyable life without having children and to see that other people are doing this.
Please watch this wonderful film!!